Do you feel:

- disconnected from yourself and others?

- you've lost yourself trying to fit in?

- you're living your life for other people?

If I asked you what your purpose is, would you struggle to answer?

If you answered YES to these questions, then this post is for you.

I understand the struggle.

I was a chronic people pleaser. Growing up as the oldest in a large family, I was always helping out.

As a doctor, I was always the person who changed or did extra shifts.

It wasn't until my husband pointed out my tendency to accommodate everyone, often at my own expense, that I began to realize the impact of my people-pleasing habits.

Understanding the Invisibility Cloak

I remember feeling lost. I'd spent so long pleasing everyone else that I couldn't even remember what I loved to do.

Many of us wear an "invisibility cloak," a metaphor for the layers we add to ourselves over time.

These layers (or veils) often stem from childhood experiences where we felt inadequate or unworthy, leading us to hide our true selves.

As adults, we end up with so many layers/veils that we lose sight of who we really are - we've effectively cloaked ourselves. Great if you're in a sci-fi fantasy movie but not great when you want to feel fully satisfied with your life.

Do you recognise this as happening to you?

The key to reclaiming your life is not to find a new identity but to peel back these layers and reconnect with your true self. You were always enough, and it's time to remember that.

The PURPOSE Formula

It took me a while to stop chasing after a grand, earth-shattering purpose. For so long, I compared myself to others—never a great strategy—and thought I had to find something monumental to feel fulfilled.

With time, I realized that my true purpose wasn't about changing the whole world—it was about changing my world. First and foremost, I just needed to be myself and focus on becoming the best version of me. Once I embraced that, everything else started to become clear.

Reaching this place of clarity and happiness didn’t happen overnight, but it doesn't have to take as long for you. To help you fast-track your journey, I’ve developed the "PURPOSE Formula."

This formula is designed to help you rediscover your passions and live a life that aligns with your authentic self. Let's dive into each component and start this journey together.

P is for Passion

The first step is to identify what you love. Your passion is a crucial part of your purpose.

Don't overthink it—your purpose will naturally unfold as you engage in activities that light you up.

Remember, purpose is a journey, not a destination.

U is for Up - What Lights You Up?

Reflect on your childhood interests and the activities that make you lose track of time. These are clues to your passions.

Additionally, learn to recognize a "yes" in your body. Practice discerning between what feels right in your body (maybe an expansive feeling) and what doesn't (maybe a contraction somewhere). You can use these feelings to guide your decisions.

R is for Resist

Learning to say no is vital.

Understand that "no" is a complete sentence.

Practice saying no without explanations or backtracking.

Celebrate each time you assert your boundaries, as this is a step towards honoring your true self.

P is for Pare - Pare Down

Declutter your life by removing physical, virtual, and even social clutter.

This might involve letting go of unnecessary possessions, unsubscribing from emails, or distancing yourself from draining relationships.

Simplifying your environment helps you focus on what truly matters and it creates space for new things more aligned with who you are.

O is for Others - Feedback from Others

Consider what others say about you, especially those who know you well.

You don't need to take their words literally but look for what is at the core of what they're saying and you may find insights into strengths and qualities that you might otherwise have taken for granted.

S is for Satisfaction

Identify activities that bring you genuine satisfaction.

What makes you feel good about yourself? Do more of that.

Helping others can be fulfilling, but ensure that your actions also bring you joy and contentment. It's in giving and receiving that you'll find balance, not just giving.

E is for Ease

What's easy for you?

Identify things that you can do 'naturally' especially if other people don't find them easy.

These effortless actions can be a sign of your unique strengths and should be incorporated into your life as they often align closely with your purpose.

Conclusion

Now, you have a simple structure to help you reconnect with who you truly are.

Consider using each letter of the PURPOSE Formula as a daily journal prompt. Start each day with “I wonder what...” followed by the specific letter you're focusing on. This practice will guide your self-reflection and help uncover your deepest passions.

Remember, reclaiming your life is a journey. It involves peeling back layers, setting boundaries, and embracing what truly lights you up.

When you live in alignment with your authentic self, opportunities will naturally unfold, and your purpose will become clear. Maybe your purpose is to bring joy to those around you, or perhaps it’s to bake the most delicious cookies and create connection through shared moments.

Your purpose doesn’t have to change the whole world—it just needs to change your world. And by knowing who you are and what makes you thrive, you’ll unlock the best version of yourself.

If you want to watch the Purpose webclass - click here